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Smartass.
“Gams for TJ Friday” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue, but maybe someone else will claim ownership. @Giromide?
In any event: I do declare them “gamalicious.”
See, first Bliccy posted the picture of her and said said
I’m positive that color is found in nature so that has to make it healthy and/or safe to ingest, right?
To which I replied:
I’ve seen that color before. I believe it’s called “Mephistopheles Blowjob Red.”
So when I posted the “Devil Spit” picture earlier, it was in reference to the above posts.
I mention this to you because only 2 of you seemed to get the joke, which I assume was because you either didn’t make the connection, or were distracted by the fact that the lousy good for nothing stupid iPhone camera sent the picture sideways.
Because that’s some motherfuckin’ funny shit right there.
Dear iPhone:
Take your EXIF Orientation tag and shove it up your ass.
Sideways.
You know and I know (and you know that I know) that when I took that picture, I was holding the camera vertically.
You know and I know (or you should know, you stupid piece of shit) that when I copy/paste this into something else, I want it to look like I took it.
Perhaps in the magical pixie world in which you live every application (including web browsers) out to honor that tag. But the rest of us live on earth, where the sky is still blue and where the best way to get the picture to show the right way is THE SAME WAY THAT EVERY FUCKING $80 DIGITAL CAMERA IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE DOES IT.
ROTATE THE FUCKING PICTURE.
Kisses,
TJ
I’m wearing a dress today because IT IS HOT UP IN THIS PIECE TODAY. I have never worn this dress without tights or leggings, but today I decided to go bare legged.
I just saw myself in the mirror… and though they have a couple of mystery bruises, I feel like they might qualify to be referred to as “gams”. OH YEAH.
Tumblr has recently added the ability to post pictures.
FYI.
For Bliccy
she knows why
TO THE GIRL THAT WORKS AT THE FRONT DESK IN MY OFFICE…
The toilet paper roll goes OVER, not UNDER, damnit!!!
Every time I sit down to pee I tell myself “Leave the roll alone, Leanne, teach her a lesson!” But I absolultey can NOT control myself from turning it around and putting it back on the RIGHT way! Is anyone else completely a nutjob about this, or am I alone in this world?
OVER lady, OVER, OVER, OVER!LOL!
Nutjob like a fox!
Uh, I mean, yeah, I do it, too.
Sorry, but the “wrong” way tears better.
YES. THANK YOU. FINALLY. GAWD.
The problem is that most of the holders are only mounted like 6” off the ground, so reaching under and around is difficult.
Assuming a reasonable height, under is better.
Her Tumblr tagline at that time was “That some Spider-man shit right there.”
In response, I posted this.
Sadly, while I remembered this last Thursday, it totally slipped my mind on Saturday, therefore it never happened.
At least that’s the story we’re telling our spouses.
Some days, the beauty of the world weighs so heavily on my soul.
This little flower reminds me of Amanda, my high school girlfriend. Although Amanda and I only went out for two weeks, they remain the most defining two weeks of my life. Our romance ended painfully and inexplicably one fateful afternoon after she discovered some pictures I’d taken of myself engaging in self-love on an Indian blanket, surrounded by little flowers. These little flowers. It was an art piece, and she didn’t understand. No one has ever understood me, and no one probably ever will. Hopefully, when I become a vampire, these burdensome human emotions will fall away like a useless exoskeleton.I love it when people use Tumblr as a medium to lay themselves bare like this. Thank you, Andrew. Thank you for sharing with us.
Disclaimer: Andrew’s original post is devoid of text.
Reblogged because HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
ALSO: please note that jessabelle2o7 has just opened Tumblr’s Comedy Pandora’s box: the Reblog Rewrite.
Regardless of who does this to whom in the future, it shall be known as being “Jessabelled.”
Example: “Did you see what TJ did to Tony’s post? He totally jessabelled it.”
So say we all.
Spotted on a piss-poor commercial: “internet celebrity” Justine Ezarik.
This is what Internet celebs accomplish. This is not what talent accomplishes. But your Wikipedia entry will never be as thorough as Justine’s.
I still don’t know what to think about Justine. I go from finding her funny to irritating and back frequently.
I love the iJustine haters. They just don’t get. How the hell does somebody get so many fans and not be talented (if that’s what’s being insinuated)?
If thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of people click on a link you posted or watched a video you made or pay you lots of money to be in a commercial — even if it’s piss-poor — you are talented.
I think she’s hilarious. Always believed that. Yeah, she’s created plenty of cringe worthy videos, but haven’t we all…
iJustine is just the best. Everybody knows that.
Billions of people may eat at McDonalds.
Don’t confuse “popular” with “good”.
(This is a comment on your line of argumentation, not on Justine herself.)
“Why’d I get mixed up with that bitch?”
“Cuz she’s got a GREAT ASS… and you’ve got your head all the way up it!”
“Jesus…”
“Ferocious, aren’t I? When I think of asses… a woman’s ass, something
comes out of me…”
— Al Pacino and Hank Azaria, Heat
From the Amazon.com: Heat (DVD) product description
An L.A. cop (Al Pacino) becomes fixated on a deadly thief (Robert Dinero) and his crew (Val Kilmer & Jon Voight) who are taking Los Angeles to the cleaners. This movie includes one of the most spectacular shoot outs in film history as Dinero and Kilmer rip through downtown Los Angeles with both guns blazing.
I’m sorry, but if you can’t spell Robert De Niro correctly, you have no business writing DVD descriptions for motherfucking Barney videos, nevermind actual grown-up movies.
I hope there is a baseball bat in your future.
Me:
Someone ought to make a movie about someone who is love with someone else, but the other doesn’t love them, but they fall in love eventually
Replies, in the order received:
Madeline_Starr: @tj That is like the most ORIGINAL idea for a movie I’ve heard in a long time.
sokeri: @tj that sounds divine.
brienis: @tj every single romance novel ever made. Ever. Shut up! Don’t judge my literature choices.
frostinglickr: @tj GROUNDBREAKING!
unclehaircut: @tj Uh, hello? Birth of a Nation?
LizRemus: @tj is that sarcasm? Because that’s like half of romance movies.
Category: “Just Added”
Ships: “Currently Unavailable”
I guess when you fail the “Genius” test for Apple, they let you work at the online store.
yhf:
click on picture to read the rest…This is INSANE!“make sure they can feel the heat”
be sure to click through to read the entire list - ELTON JOHN IS “REALLY GAY”
I think “Fix You” is even somehow less nauseating than the prospect of listening to THIS guy asking me to take his hand.
I’m pretty sure that King Crimson hasn’t influenced anyone’s sex life unless it’s that not many women like it when I listen to King Crimson so it kind of reduces my chances of getting laid.
(!@Y#(@!#HIU@#
“Gateway Bands” are the new “Gateway Drugs” so apparently Gay is the new High.
I thought Boy Scout leaders caused The Gay. Now it’s music? I’m so confused.
And what is With the Random Capitalization?
I think my favorite part is the instruction to “Burn the CDs”. Because really, if there’s anything that children know, it is that music only ever comes on shiny plastic disks.
WTF is an “Internet mp3”?
And lastly: “Especially in this age of Internet mp3 piracy” is not a complete sentence, you thick-skulled fuckwad. Maybe if your family had avoided all that inbreeding you might be able to construct a sentence at a grown up level.
(ps - How much do you want to bet Donnie Davie’s has had a penis up his butt? Is that what he’s demonstrating there with his hands?)
This reminds me of a Flickr color browser, the name of which I can’t recall.
I think this is what you’re thinking of. It even lets you restrict results by subject. Try flowers, macro, or Squared Circle.
Yeah, that’s kinda cool. But this Visual Search Lab, from Idée Labs, is cooler. FACE.
My sister’s friend once overheard a woman disciplining her daughter as follows: “Spatula, don’t act retarded. One word from Jesus can make it so.”
The child’s name was Spatula.
A friend of ours was a teacher in Florida, and she had a student in her class whose name she didn’t know how to pronounce. So she asked.
Teacher: “How do you pronounce your name?”
Student: “Shuh-TAY-da”
It was spelled “Shi’thead”
I may have the ’ in the wrong place.
