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God's Gifts

(Old joke, not mine; my addendum follows)
God, at the end of Creating Adam and Eve: I'm going to give one of you the ability to pee standing up.
Adam: Oh, pick me! Pick me! That would be great for when I'm out working in the fields or hiking in the woods looking for food. Can I have it? Can I? Can I?
Eve: If he wants it so badly, let him have it.
God: Ok then. Let's see what else I have in here. Looks like one thing left. Ah yes: multiple orgasms.
(I told that joke to a female friend as we hurried back home so she wouldn't have to use a public bathroom.)
Me: So, it's easier for us to use public restrooms, but I still think you got the better end of the deal.
Her: Well if those were the last two gifts God gave us, I'm guessing you get to use yours more often than I get to use mine.
(ZING!)

She's the Aggressive to my Passive

Scene: Leaving the Melting Pot and finding a group of 10-12 white fifty-something men & women, blocking the exit, standing around talking, and completely oblivious to anyone else.
Me (loudly): Hey, I've got a great idea. Why don't we stand around and talk right in the middle of the room, so everyone has to go around us?!
Her (as loudly): That sounds like a great idea to me!

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