Fun Size Bytes (from @Tj)

Discount Logic

Me: (handing a print out to a so-called "customer service" employee) You sell this same item for $10 less on your website.
Drone: We don't match prices to other stores.
Me: It's *your* website.
Drone: We don't match prices to websites.
Me: It's your website... where I can order this same item to be shipped to the store for free.
Drone: Sorry [Translation: I couldn't possibly care any less than I do right now, because they give me no power of authority to do anything but parrot company policy even when it makes no sense, so why should I mistake a paycheck for a reason to care?]

Was This Trip Really Necessary?

Sound: Feet Shuffling
The Boy: Dad, the remote for the Apple TV isn't working.
Sound: Me, trying to find the iMac remote without opening my eyes.
The Boy: Can I use this one?
Me: Uh.
The Boy: thanks
Sound: Feet Shuffling
(A few minutes later)
Sound: Feet Shuffling
The Boy: This one doesn't work either
Me: Yes it does, I used it last night.
The Boy: Ok
Sound: Feet Shuffling
(A few minutes later)
The Boy: What does it mean when the AppleTV just shows words?
Me: I guess it means I have to get up and see for myself
(Goes down to find the AppleTV at the 'Do you want to do a factory restore?' screen. Reboot. Get it working. Test remotes. Both work. Take iMac remote back)
Me: There you go. You know how to work it from here?
The Boy: Yes.
90 minutes hence, and he's yet to watch a single thing on the Apple TV.

@redrabbit explains why she broke up with her last...

100

Tomorrow (that’s 2009-02-11 for those of you reading this in the future) is The Boy’s...

Failure to Communicate

Me: When you get home, you'll find that the TV isn't working. It's not a problem. That's why I'm going to Radio Shack.
Her: So I can watch something on it?
Me: Well, it isn't displaying a picture, but within those parameters, yes, I suppose you could watch something on it just fine.
Her: ::rolls eyes::