Fun Size Bytes

2009

December
November 107
October 192
September 333
August 384
July 448
June 204
May 137
April 40
March 54

2008

June
May 7
April 17
March 5
January

I should probably take a shower, I've...

emzbulletproof: funsizebytes: emzbulletproof: ladawn: Oh shit, guess who has a reason to...
Jul 2nd

I should probably take a shower, I've...

emzbulletproof: ladawn: Oh shit, guess who has a reason to shave above the knee! waaaaay above...
Jul 2nd
dextercolt: GPOYW (kissing my bicep because I’m a dork...
Jul 2nd
lindstifa: thememegeneration: So far, so good. Sort...
Jul 2nd

indefensible:

indefensible: sokeri: my cousin is getting married in a few weeks. her groom is wearing a custom...
Jul 2nd
“I’m an enormous Bam-Bam giant of a man, people. I...
Jul 1st
Seriously I can’t stop laughing at this picture.
Jul 1st
The Wife. Bored. Traveling 70MPH. If she complains...
Jul 1st
I’m so embarrassed. I’ve always spelled it...
Jul 1st

Douchebag- right here

frostinglickr: So, my thankless awful job that I hate is in infomercials. We just launched...
Jul 1st
Can you spot the actual truth in advertising?
Jul 1st
We saw an awesome Harry Potter exhibit at the Museum of...
Jul 1st
“What’s that?! I bet it’s dino-poop....
Jul 1st
srslainey: I’M FUCKING FINE! Happy Non-Mother’s...
Jul 1st
An hour in space. Spent pooping. That’s gotta...
Jul 1st
via your mom. No, wait, via my mom. Via email. And 72...
Jul 1st
My belief that I might have made a good teacher is tempered...
Jun 30th
I bet The Brady Bunch could have eked out another season if...
Jun 30th
Some names don’t even sound better in Latin. (I knew...
Jun 30th

Confused

rrrrred: KRIS:  that’s a lot of raisin bran ME:  you’re a lot of raisin bran KRIS:  your mom’s a...
Jun 30th
On the App Store, App Store Pricing, and...
Jun 30th

Sometimes I Think I Think Too Much

I wrote: I just took pleasure in seeing that someone had typo-ed “schadenfreude”....
Jun 30th

This is an actual phone message our...

bliccy: To: ??? Date: 6/31 Time: 3:18pm From: n/a of: n/a Phone: n/a Message: will call...
Jun 30th
rinaedin: Giggle giggle! Driving to Chicago we saw a sign...
Jun 30th

This is another setup, right?

Oh, so when @bj stands for blowjob, then @tj is… boob sex, rite?...
Jun 30th

so i'm flying out to florida on...

rinaedin: what should i pack? by the way, i’m bringing carry-on only. one backpack + the...
Jun 30th
Imagine how different the A-Team would have been if this had...
Jun 30th
brilliantorange: via www.webundies.com “I’ll...
Jun 30th

Friday the 13th Going on 30

bliccy: funsizebytes: Jason is just about to hack another group of campers to death when he’s...
Jun 30th

Friday the 13th Going on 30

srslainey: funsizebytes: Jason is just about to hack another group of campers to death when...
Jun 30th

Friday the 13th Going on 30

Jason is just about to hack another group of campers to death when he’s transported back in...
Jun 30th

"Man of Steel Magnolias"

Superman comes to earth and gets in touch with his softer side. (Hey, don’t blame me....
Jun 30th

The movie combo game

nickdouglas: I describe a film plot based on two movies. You tell me the combined title. … ...
Jun 30th

No Mixed Meats

Good money says ‘Chicago-style’ hot dogs feature prominently in Leviticus...
Jun 30th

-oscopy

Tony_D: Look, it’s really simple: if it ends in “-oscopy”, it’s going...
Jun 29th

seriously?

Looking forward to hooking up with @Tj tonite! http://twitter.com/IS_NULL/status/2390465983 ...
Jun 29th
I’m not at liberty to say anything more about his...
Jun 29th

I'm starting to this y'all are punking...

@TJ, I am so sorry about your uncle Doo Doo. God bless :( ...
Jun 29th

"Boisterous"

Quote of the night from the #chsh Tweetup Emz, to me: “I didn’t realize you’d...
Jun 29th
toldorknown: WHAT. (via morrowplanet) It was...
Jun 28th
“This is not the @TJ you’re looking for” ...
Jun 28th

Chicago(ish) Tweetup Tally

Number of times I was busted for not following someone on Twitter: 1 Followed immediately by the...
Jun 28th
toldorknown:    “2. You can move his arms up and...
Jun 27th
This is the best thing ever on the Internet. Everything else...
Jun 27th

Seriously? Is this like a meme now?

@TJ: “Pasasaan ba’t tayong dalwa’y makaka-asawahan din sa huli. Ako’y...
Jun 27th
The Boy and his traveling menagerie.
Jun 27th

Ok then....

SOMEONE I ADMIRE MADE MY DAY @TJ (WINK, WINK) ...
Jun 26th
The Favored Ones
Jun 26th

One Week

The Wife was working on the MacBook and asked me to installed Tweetie. She handed over the...
Jun 26th
seoulbrother: portorock: staff: Now testing: Endless...
Jun 26th
Why didn’t anyone tell me Kevin Nealon was a) on...
Jun 26th
I may have to go shopping in Chicago to see if I can find a...
Jun 25th
nonlinearmind wrote: This guy is getting pwned by an...
Jun 25th

Who has two thumbs and a husband with...

(via pocketcontents) Reblogged because FUCK CANCER.
Jun 25th

Re: followers and excitement

tehawesome: (large edit) And associating me with “teh” is totally not weird.  I’ve come to...
Jun 25th

OH While Trapped in Hospital Waiting...

(Scene: Patient kept talking about American Idol. Receptionist kept saying “I don’t...
Jun 25th
I am starting a new list today. The list is entitled: ...
Jun 25th

Serious question

timestolen: hellonurse: tams77: Okay ladies and gentlemen, I’ve got a serious question for...
Jun 25th
reimer: Gratuitous Picture of Your Business Card...
Jun 25th
crankiestpants: For @tj, because I can’t resist...
Jun 25th
bananagrams: For @tj No, this never gets old. I hate...
Jun 25th

Dear Married Republicans Who Are Against...

It would really help your cause if you would stop sticking your dicks in people you aren’t...
Jun 25th
I’m only used to hearing that from The Wife....
Jun 25th

Really? That's Your Phone Number?

So I Googled for IMAX theaters near Chicago and this is the actual information from Google: ...
Jun 24th
eoporto: via gothamist Hilariously honest. Funny because...
Jun 24th
She was asking for it. (via dielaughing)
Jun 24th

Fuck Domain Squatters

Last week I received this email: To: [me]@gmail.com Subject: twitreport.com From:...
Jun 24th
kellydeal: (via forzeroreason) This is by far my favorite...
Jun 24th
toldorknown: The new iPhone Dashboard has more links than...
Jun 24th
"We need to talk"
Jun 24th
This is why I refuse to use “Paperless”...
Jun 24th

Not being able to correct typos in...

ladawn: Bleurgh. Reblogged because it make me do one of those really embarrassing laugh/snarf...
Jun 24th
jessabelle2o7: Bat drawings by 19th century biologist...
Jun 24th
I don’t know what the two of you are doing to Mrs....
Jun 24th
nicky36: Just wanted to show off my shirt to TJ. It...
Jun 24th
“There are many great-looking babes in the film, who are made...”
— Excerpt from Roger...
Jun 24th

"Ugh… Twitter… Why would anyone use...

indefensible: emmyinabox: My friend just found out I twitter, and now she is talking loudly...
Jun 24th
A Someecards Card I just received… I call this one...
Jun 24th
I just realized the cover of the OED on CD spells...
Jun 24th

Find Permalink from Dashboard

So as you may have noticed, I’ve been using Tumblr for awhile now, and I just learned...
Jun 23rd
Heck of a job with the new iPhone interface to Tumblr. I...
Jun 23rd

A Text Message I Received from The Wife...

The Boy asked if The Price Is Right is still on. It was around 11, so I said “Let’s...
Jun 23rd

Fun With Automatic Transcription

What she (the organizer of our local symphony) said in her message: We have one other person...
Jun 23rd

"That’s a good question…"

“Why are men, taken on average and as a whole, funnier than women?” inquired Christopher Hitchens...
Jun 23rd

Response?

I wrote: A metaphor is like a simile except that you don’t sound like a pretentious...
Jun 23rd
(via starehard) Well, someone has been getting a little...
Jun 23rd
Lovely card from “Not Actually Me” Tumblr /...
Jun 23rd
The Boy, on his way to the 2nd day of Science Camp, in which...
Jun 23rd

Wait, did I start a meme?

Only 1 or 2 people I follow seem to have posted their “V(irginity) Day” dates, so I...
Jun 23rd

HEY TJ

indefensible: I was 14 when I lost my virginity. But the woman I was with died a couple of weeks...
Jun 23rd
americanmailorderbride: steelopus: suicideblonde: Marie...
Jun 23rd
Wait, wasn’t “Liberator Wedge” one of the...
Jun 23rd
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the first time that I...
Jun 23rd
indefensible: (via tams77) And just like that, my hate...
Jun 23rd
“— Ben Compton  People compare birdhouses at tweet-ups?...”
— Are you kidding? Josh shows it...
Jun 22nd

Joss Whedon on answering the "strong...

silversmith: “Equality is not a concept. It’s not something we should be striving for. It’s a...
Jun 22nd
biorhythmist: Hey, neat new feature. Which, for those of...
Jun 22nd
Excellent postcard from Stacey727 (Tumblr/Twitter) ...
Jun 22nd

More Awesome Dreams

Last night I dreamt that I got a parking ticket after I unknowingly parked in front of a...
Jun 22nd

New Policy: Fuck "Embedding disabled by...

I keep seeing “Embedding disabled by request” on all of this YouTube content that the...
Jun 22nd
Oh, you’re from a small town? Really? Because I live...
Jun 22nd

Role Reversal

Last night, watching some inane movie (I don’t remember which one): Her, sitting on the...
Jun 22nd
thememegeneration: 3 people were in on this joke,...
Jun 22nd

Stop! Stop! I *order* you to stop!

We’re supposed to send The Boy to Geek Camp…err, sorry, I mean “Science Camp” —...
Jun 22nd

Happy Father's Day

This is a lazy man’s reblog of Cleversimon which was actually done via email as I’m...
Jun 22nd
indefensible: boldasloves: no Flickr – Compartilhamento...
Jun 22nd
Dear Visualizeus: Let me know if you ever figure out how...
Jun 21st

Catching Up On Last Night's Posts, I...

(Yeah I’m crossing the Twitter/Tumblr streams. Deal.) ONE ...
Jun 21st

Is There an App for This?

reimer: Apologies for the servicey-request. Please ignore if you hate this sort of thing. As you...
Jun 21st
Why your argument sucks...
Jun 21st

Razors: Blade or Electric?

Also: which brand, if you have a preference. Remember: this is for science, so be honest.
Jun 21st
(Taken 2002-05-28) After a long first day on earth, Ethan...
Jun 21st

Dear Amazon.com

Checking out of Amazon.com today I saw this: Important Message Please note that the price...
Jun 21st
Dear Weatherman: You know how you said it was going to be...
Jun 20th

This is why you're in a recession

moltz: adamisacson: So the CVS by my office has an ATM that only spits out $20s, and if you...
Jun 20th
lilykily: Behind the scenes. This was a scene they filmed...
Jun 20th
delgrosso: lilykily: Soy fucker? “Soyfucker” is the new...
Jun 20th
In case you were out having a life last night, The Wife is...
Jun 20th

Uhnnnnn...

moltz: I just saw a one-star iTunes App Store review, the entire text of which was (not verbatim...
Jun 20th

Thank $DEITY Facebook says we're...

The Wife just took a Facebook quiz about what kind of man is right for her. This was the...
Jun 20th

Tumblarity: 669

I was watching George Carlin the other day, and he was going through “More words you...
Jun 19th
“In the future, you should be VERY careful about such things....”
— Do not, under any...
Jun 19th
rrrrred: ben, who is half bear. (via whatnot) One of...
Jun 19th
Lily "Killin' Me Softly" Kily's Tumblr
Jun 19th
Warch Watch
This is soooooo awesome. I’m going to make a lot of these in my spare time.
Jun 19th

Fighting Ain't Always Bad

srslainey: riccalo: Uhhh by The Lemonheads (Hate Your Friends album) ...
Jun 19th
Warch Watch
Some of you are no doubt too young to remember this commercial, which I quoted the other day when...
Jun 19th

Dear Pixar: Thanks for Making Me Cry...

John ‘Daring Fireball’ Gruber linked to a story about Pixar granting an in-home viewing...
Jun 19th

Nobody Chooses To Write

But the truth is, if you must write you will. And if you’re not driven to write, then...
Jun 19th

I can't …

Blow up balloons. Or blow a bubble with gum. I’ve tried. My ears feel like they’ll...
Jun 19th

Hi, My Name is TJ and I am a Word Nerd

I don’t know how many of you Word Nerds out there have been waiting for the new version of...
Jun 19th
Prepare to be live-tweeted. Well, tomorrow. But be...
Jun 19th
inthefade: For TJ I just love how six people favrd it. ...
Jun 18th

So those new clothes I got last night?...

kurafire: Yeah, some idiot at the cafe decided it was perfectly sensible to fill a plastic...
Jun 18th

ten quick questions

inthefade asked: Who are you? Depends on who you ask. Or when you ask me. At the moment...
Jun 18th

Twishes

When following someone on Tumblr who uses it to aggregate their Twitter, I wish there was box I...
Jun 18th
mayafish: lilykily: Whaaaat…? I’m sorry, I… I just CAN’T...
Jun 18th

Opus?

Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:18:53 -0500 (CDT) From: opus@retailstore.wireless.att-mail.com To:...
Jun 18th
LOLTheist ought to be a Tumblr. It’s a little late...
Jun 18th

A Modest Proposal

I put a DVD into the player I start a stopwatch I navigate all the menus I wait for all the...
Jun 18th
lilykily: peep show. Reblogged because hilarious.
Jun 18th
Immediate thought: “OH GOD I THINK I DID...
Jun 18th

Get your free premarital counseling...

entropyas: I spent some time last night talking to someone close to me about the pros and cons of...
Jun 18th

Here's Monocle's List of the World's...

indefensible: 1.  Zürich 2.  Copenhagen 3.  Tokyo 4.  Munich 5.  Helsinki 6.  Stockholm 7.  Vienna...
Jun 18th
My Favorite Accidental @Reply I get a fair number of these...
Jun 18th
lilykily: This is not going to end well for that dude...
Jun 17th
MLB "At Bat" iPhone Application to begin...
Jun 17th
thedayhascome: [Phone rings. Looks at Caller ID]… Shit....
Jun 17th
Warch Watch
tbridge: inthefade: richphelps: 15 years ago today. NEVER FORGET. ...
Jun 17th

Running tally

“Porn…. “Porn…. “Porn…. “Porn…. ...
Jun 17th
““Great introduction to the next satanic couple to...”
— “3 of 8 people found...
Jun 17th

Nervous.

yowhatsthehaps: It occured to me today that I am not really all that much better at making...
Jun 17th
rrrrred: Josh and TJ (via Rrrrred) Finally getting...
Jun 16th
My Australian Postcard My thanks to Erin for the postcard...
Jun 16th
luckyshirt: This has probably been around the internet...
Jun 16th

Young guys: here's some advice you're...

indefensible: That girl you like? The one who you want to ask out, but you can’t? Ask her out....
Jun 16th
notactuallyme: Just…. no. via I always thought the...
Jun 16th
Bay Area Tumble/Favrd Meetup
Jun 16th

$470

Assuming these are one-payment-for-each-type. Otherwise I’m going to need some kind of a...
Jun 16th
nicky36: terrybain: Enviably Odd Book Title: I Lick My...
Jun 16th
“This book actually lauds the state of washington and bemoans...”
— Seattle is a strange and dark...
Jun 16th
“I remember walking around a corner in town when I heard this...”
— Amazon.com review of Bob...
Jun 16th

How much do you owe?

americanmailorderbride: lilykily: “How much do you owe?”: Woo-hoo! I’m rich!   ...
Jun 16th
“This stuff will give your children nightmares. Not only are...”
— An Amazon.com Review of the...
Jun 16th
Dear Copywriter: re: …everything from “The...
Jun 16th
I call this one “Family Reunion” (via...
Jun 16th
luckyshirt: myrm: OMG GUESS WHAT JUST CAME IN THE...
Jun 16th
“Stand up comedy or stand up blasphemy. Why is preaching...”
— GangstaLawya aka TimBuckToo...
Jun 16th
George Carlin: All My Stuff On sale at Amazon.com for...
Jun 15th
zolora: This will never happen again, so I’m taking my...
Jun 15th
Three Minutes My post went live at 4:00pm At 4:03 I had...
Jun 15th
delgrosso: office helper (via me) Also resized for use...
Jun 15th
Completely true story, except that it was actually his...
Jun 15th
Yeah, you’d better fly away. (source) Thanks to...
Jun 15th

Pants

I was ready to leave the house (and therefore be on time for work) at least 30 minutes ago, except I...
Jun 15th

Ooops

So I made the Bourbon Cherry Lemonade recipe that Tom Bridge (Tumblr/Twitter) showed me. I gave...
Jun 15th
rinaedin: that’s what she said. And, one suspects,...
Jun 14th
Warch Watch
I always find myself wondering whatever happened to Mr. McGee.
Jun 9th
I’m sure this means something, I’m just not sure...
Jun 9th

I Will Forever Wish I Had A Picture Of...

My friend Al and I were driving through Pittsburgh the other day (edge of Little Italy, for those...
Jun 9th
sweetchrysanthemum: If I could go back and restart...
Jun 8th
smartasshat: kellydeal: jaunty: By Terrence Nowicki,...
Jun 8th

Twitter: Why Can't People I Don't Follow...

remiel: Yeah, I get that it’s nominally an anti-spam thing. That makes sense. But why not a...
Jun 8th
Warch Watch
Leo Laporte snaps on Michael Arrington via @ grobertson
Jun 7th
silversmith: Book #7 Please buy my book. If it stays...
Jun 7th

Jesus Freaks Out in the Streets

srslainey: “It doesn’t matter if you’re religious or not. Does anything make you feel more...
Jun 7th

A Brief Announcement

(I wrote this a long time ago, but I doubt anyone saw it, and recent events have made me think of it...
Jun 7th
Warch Watch
jtlynchjr wrote: @luomat Of course, Perry’s already BTDT with Microsoft:...
Jun 6th

MS. CHANANDLER BONG

My apologies to Bliccy for not getting that “Ms. Candandler Bong” came from Friends...
Jun 6th
bliccy: funsizebytes: 303 followers on my @luomat...
Jun 6th
303 followers on my @luomat account and only 2 of them will...
Jun 6th
frageelaytwit: doublejack: (via ceasefire) I sat at my...
Jun 6th
“Sen. Jim Inhofe [R-Oklahoma] said today that President...”
—  Source, found via Think...
Jun 6th
Fucking discrimination is what it is. And what is this...
Jun 6th
A New York City woman says her father...
Jun 6th
Wait, is this some sort of ultra-safe sex? Or are they...
Jun 5th
I’ve got a couple ideas for captions here, but none of...
Jun 5th
YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE IPHONE PICTURES SO I GOT YOU AN...
Jun 5th

Do Not Trust Hard Drives Once Fubar'd

srslainey wrote: I’ve tried everything on this screen. I just keep getting errors. If this...
Jun 5th
samhey: Her: Did you know that Scarlett Johansson is in...
Jun 5th

Driving in Pittsburgh

So a few weeks ago I observed: Pittsburgh: “Even our pedestrians drive like...
Jun 5th
Why Women Have Breasts
Jun 4th
smartasshat: weselec: Fig. 7: SCHEIßE ANGRIFF! “Der...
Jun 4th
delgrosso: theduty: holla. DJ TJ. This is even...
Jun 4th

I Went Back 32 Pages

And my Tumblarity didn’t go up at all? Tumblarity doesn’t know what friendship is. ...
Jun 4th

Tumblr now supports Markdown via email

staff: When sending Tumblr a mobile email post, you can now optionally include Markdown syntax to...
Jun 3rd
Explosions and Boobs
Jun 3rd
texburgher: KEEP YOUR LAWS OUT OF MY BEDROOM. My humps,...
Jun 3rd
Rent _Stripes_ for 99¢ [iTunes Link]
Jun 3rd

hey! lets see how far this gets...

frostinglickr: rinaedin: delgrosso: funsizebytes: My name is TJ and I’m not really a bird ...
Jun 3rd

Straw Woman

americanmailorderbride: “I am a firm believer in a woman’s right to choose to abort, but there...
Jun 3rd

hey! lets see how far this gets...

shoesonwrong: daniellei: stacey727: essdogg: coyotesqrl: girlmonkey: lilykily: ...
Jun 3rd
jimray: Toast! I told J$ that I’d raise one in...
Jun 2nd

Order of my planned evening...

inthefade: insooutso: Go home, diddle the wife. Put on tux for black-tie Couvosier event. ...
Jun 1st
Unpacked — Tj Style Look closely.
Jun 1st

WWJD - Killing People Edition

Then he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, knelt down, and prayed, “Father, if you are...
Jun 1st

Smoking

indefensible: “The researchers concluded that “just being exposed to The Simpsons characters...
Jun 1st