Fun Size Bytes
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FUCK YES.
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Lunch today was two appetizers and dessert because in case you missed the memo I turned in my thesis this week.
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For TJ
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I don’t know why it took me so long to realize this was fake. Probably because I wanted it to be true.
*shakes fist*
Damn you, Internet! You got me this time, but I’ll still live to see you dead in a pool of your own blood!
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Hey, thanks for posting that twice, Tumblr app, but that still doesn’t make up for the times when you quietly throw away my reblogs.
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FYI for my Pittsburgh Area Friends
Graduation will be held on Friday, May 31st at East Liberty Presbyterian Church.
The ceremony begins at 7:00 p.m. I don’t know how long the ceremony will go, but the shuttle service (see below) resumes at 8:30 so I assume it will finish around that time.
I don’t think that you need a ticket for graduation itself, but I have ~10 “invitations” anyway. If you think you’d like to attend and would feel better having something in hand, let me know and I’ll send you one.
Parking / Free Shuttle: Parking can be a bit of a pain in that area.* They are running a free shuttle to/from campus (616 North Highland Ave, Pittsburgh Theological Seminary) to East Liberty.
(* the area called PITTSBURGH. Ha! I kid. I kid. I meant the area around the church. But seriously, parking in Pittsburgh generally is a pain.)
My mom and sister will be there too, if you’d like to meet them. They are, as you might expect, pretty awesome.
That being said, it’s a Friday night and I suspect y’all will have other things to do. But I didn’t want anyone to feel like they hadn’t been invited. :-)
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They put one copy in the library and one copy in the department archive, and rather having the department secretary print off copies of everyone’s thesis, they ask the students to do it.
If your question is “Why are they still using paper instead of electronic versions?” the answer is very simple: tradition.
Yeah, sadly outdated in a lot of ways, but such is academia.
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BOOM.
Paid $27 for “delivery by 3pm” instead of ~$65 for “delivery by 10am”
Delivered at 11:10 a.m.
Done.
Really really really done.
No, really.
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Good morning.
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“One time when we had a free period I tried to draw my face but instead I drew a pineapple.” — The Boy -
“One time when we had a free period I tried to draw my face but instead I drew a pineapple.” — The Boy -
How old do you have to be before you don’t think of Bugs Bunny when you hear certain classical music pieces?
FYI, it’s not 40.
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Because if not today, when?
True story: after I dropped my thesis off at the UPS store, I stopped to get dinner. Then I went to the liquor store for, um, party favors.
As I went to leave, I turned around and the guy behind me in line at the liquor store was wearing a UPS uniform.
(Note: no, it wasn’t Brian. For those of you who are new here, yes, I am on a first-name basis with my UPS driver. We text sometimes. He’s awesome. Sadly, he was off today so we couldn’t share this special day.)
Me: “I just drove an hour to drop off my thesis at the UPS store!”
In case you think I’m just a weirdo online: Nope. Full-on weirdo talking to the UPS guy in line at he liquor store.
Him: “I just picked up everything from the UPS store. I dropped it off at the hub. I’m off now.”
(I guess he added the last part in case I thought he was driving the UPS truck to the liquor store?)
Me: “You’re carrying the last two years of my life in there. Please be careful.”
Him: (laughs) “You bet.”
If I hadn’t checked out already I totally would have paid for his stuff too.
Other weirdness:
I worked at UPS one summer in high school. I just remembered that my truck was all Chicago zip codes.
So if you had a package sent from Massachusetts to Chicago via UPS in the late 80s, I may have touched it.
(Not like that.)
((Probably.))
Actually, I never officially left the Teamsters union, so technically I’m still a Teamster… albeit who is 20+ years behind on dues.
Did I mention I mailed off my thesis today?
Because I did.
Why am I still typing next to an empty glass?
Dumbass.
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Tumblr’s answers to the question of why sculptures have such small penises:
—They just went swimming.
—Marble is expensive.
—The models were nervous in a cold studio.
—So men don’t feel embarrassed.
—The sculptures are of white men.
—We’ve evolved.
—Because they’re accurate.
—Because back then people associated large penises with being an uneducated dumb brute.
The Wife and I were on a tour in London and the tour guide explained that after many years of statues with a fig leaf covering the male genitals, a new statue had been unveiled with a “realistic” penis. An unsuspecting Nun happened to pass by it, and when she saw it, she had a stroke.
Another Nun was with her, and she almost had a stroke too, but she couldn’t reach.
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GPOYW GUEST STARRING TWO PRINTED COPIES OF MY THESIS, THE PENULTIMATE COPY ON THE FLOOR AND OH YEAH SOME KID.
IT IS IN THE MAIL. AND BY MAIL I MEAN UPS BECAUSE COME ON SON DO YOU REALLY THINK I’M LEAVING THAT IN THE HANDS OF THE POST OFFICE?
