Wordsworth

When I was in high school, our baseball team had a pitcher whose name was “Armstrong.”

Great name for a pitcher, right?

I love it when names and skills fit together naturally, so I’ve always taken some sort of pleasure in the idea of a man named “Wordsworth” becoming a poet. It just fits nicely.

I assume it pleased him also.

But surely as a wordsmith it must have bothered him that he was a from a place called “Cockermouth” in “Cumbria.”

Ouch.

Anyway, I don’t remember what led me to look up this poem of his, but that’s when I learned about his hometown:

~ Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood, 175-186 ~

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

Actual program description from the Pay Per View on DirecTV

Hot Big Boobed Teens: Sex Crazed Sluts

Is there anything better than tight teen holes and big boobs? These sluts can’t keep their hands off their tight hard bodies. These sex crazed young girls already know how to explore every inch until they’re sexually satisfied.

It’s nice to see that we haven’t totally forgotten about nuance and subtlety…

If only there was some way that I could send a small projectile through my frontal lobe…

See larger version of this image.

If only there was some way that I could send a small projectile through my frontal lobe…

“Fuckstix” - new, from TJ’s House of Ideas That Sounded Better Not On Paper

Have you ever had an idea, a really good idea, and then you talked about it with Someone Important (significant other, boss, good friend, heck even a family member you actually like) and have this Idea really Take Shape and Sound Great and WOW you’re really building excitement about it and think it could really Be Something of significance, not that you expect it to Change The World but maybe make a little corner of it Better?

Well if you want to turn that into a Giant Pile of Festering Shit, I suggest trying to make it into an academic project proposal.

Seriously, my advisor really liked this idea. I really liked this idea. It sounded like a great project. But then I looked at what they “Project Proposal” is supposed to include and I’m like “Wait, what? We never talked about any of this, how does any of this fit with what we talked about?”

And a few hours (or approximately 8 pages) later your idea looks worse than that time you woke up with that guy from accounting after getting drunk at the Flag Day party when everyone was like “Wait, there was a Flag Day party? And you got drunk at it?”

Anyway, I think my project out to be an in-depth investigation into whether or not I’ve seen all of the episodes of NCIS yet.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

John “Cougar” Mellencamp’s Scarecrow is one of my favorite albums of all-time. (Judge away, if you must, it won’t bother me.) It’s one of the few CDs that I’ve ever owned where I can just hit “Play” and not feel like skipping any of the songs (although Minutes To Memories is probably my favorite, so I’ll probably listen to that one a few times before moving on).

I’ve added very little to my musical knowledge, taste, or CD collection since the 80s, for the very simple reason of not liking most of the stuff that I’ve heard since then. It’s not that the 80s were so great (as we all know there was some horrible things done in the recording studio in the 80s which are best forgotten), as much as it is those where the years when music was most important to me, and a lot of the good music memories I have were formed around events and memories that I have improved on with the passing of time.

So it should come as no surprise to you that I was completely unaware that John Mellencamp had a new CD out, until Jelisa mentioned it. I read her description of it (see below) and listened to the song. Now, I suppose I ought to be one of the people who hates this new CD and the sound that doesn’t sound like the Mellencamp of my youth, but the song immediately appealed to me, and I ordered the CD from Amazon immediately after her post.

I’m listening to it right now for the first time, and so far I think it’s pretty great.

So, thanks, Jelisa, not only for the information about the CD’s release, but for your post which was compelling enough that I thought “This is something I need to hear.”

In case y’all missed it, here’s what she wrote about it the other day:

John Mellencamp: “Don’t Forget About Me”

Yesterday, Mister Mellencamp released No Better Than This, the album he recorded while literally standing in the dusty footprints of a handful of music legends.  This time last year, he and producer T-Bone Burnett planted their boots firmly on the electrical tape X that marked the Sun Studios floor on the spot where Elvis poured his soul onto a slab of vinyl. 

From there, they moved to Room 414 of the Gunter Hotel—late BluesGod Robert Johnson’s room—and the First African Baptist Church.  Whether it’s because of Burnett’s production or because of the lingering ghosts of the recording locations, there’s a haunted quality to the entire album. 

Look, this isn’t the same guy who spent the 1980s with feathered hair, a practiced scowl and a made-up name.  At 58, he’s grown in to his Marlboro-enhanced rasp and has finally earned the dirt on his denim jacket.  When he delivers lines like “Give me back my youth/And don’t let me waste it this time”, it sounds like he’s telling Jack and Diane to do something other than kill their afternoons at the Tastee Freez…but not until they go back one more time, just to savor it.

Mellencamp’s first album was called John Cougar and he recorded it while he was using the same name for himself.  Thirty-one years later, he sounds more like John Steinbeck…and a lot less like who he used to be. 

BRB.

I hope.

BRB.

I hope.

Is that… um… I mean… It can’t be, right? But… just for a second it looked like maybe there was a picture of Jesus’ face on worldwarmike’s… err, um… “crotchety” area.

I’m not the only one who sees it, right?

See larger version of this image.

Is that… um… I mean… It can’t be, right? But… just for a second it looked like maybe there was a picture of Jesus’ face on worldwarmike’s… err, um… “crotchety” area.

I’m not the only one who sees it, right?

Can you spare 3m45s for an important message about love, loss, and the socio-economic struggles of a modern man trying to keep the woman he loves?

What if I tell you that it’s all set to a catchy pop/R&B tune that will have you tapping your feet for the rest of the day?

Still no?

Damn, man, you’re pretty cold.

How about if I tell you that the title of the song is ‘Fuck you’?

(Don’t worry, you can tell people you watched it for the first reason.)

via mikemonteiro, originally created by CeeLoGreen

Available Colors: Black, Black, White, Black, White

I think I’m going to place an order by phone…

“Hi, yes, I’d like to order the black one… no no, not that black one, the other one. No, the middle one.”

(Hat tip to rrrrred for the link. Click the image to follow it.)
http://www.journeys.com/product.aspx?id=170260&green=13537240358

Available Colors: Black, Black, White, Black, White

I think I’m going to place an order by phone…

“Hi, yes, I’d like to order the black one… no no, not that black one, the other one. No, the middle one.”

(Hat tip to rrrrred for the link. Click the image to follow it.)

Just for a second I thought she was going 130MPH…in my car!

wifeoftj:

O HAI garage! 
HOME at last!!!!
http://wifeoftj.tumblr.com/post/975391218

See larger version of this image.

Just for a second I thought she was going 130MPH…in my car!

wifeoftj:

O HAI garage! HOME at last!!!!

I really hate it when I want to high-five you and plant your disembodied dick in our front yard at the same time.

Source:

Things Got Weird After The Pickle.: Always Be Amazed You Haven’t Eaten Each Other

You’ll have to hit the link the read the rest of the story, I don’t want to ruin any of the surprise, but it’s totally worth it.

Sorry for the unintended autoplay, folks

kaffeineme:

1. TJ, THERE IS TALKING ON MY DASHBOARD NOW

2. That steak picture makes me make a herky sound every time I see it. 

3. The third one should always be funny.

I didn’t understand what the “talking on the dashboard” was about until I saw that Ron and Emmy mentioned something about it right after my Daily Show post.

Long story short, one of the video embed codes was set to ‘autoplay’ which I hadn’t realized because I use ClickToFlash which stops all Flash from playing until clicked (which I suppose was obvious from the name).

Anyway, it’s fixed now. Sorry. Autoplay is almost as bad as autotune, and both should be eliminated from the planet with use of fire and explosives.

ps - regarding the steak picture, I like mine medium (as described on the picture), but a friend from college said that she liked her meat “so rare that a well-trained veterinarian would have a good chance of reviving it.”

STOCK UP & SAVE, PEOPLE!

As I mentioned earlier


  The Wife called me from the scotch aisle at the liquor store to see what she should bring home. In case it wasn’t clear that I married well.


via wifeoftj
http://wifeoftj.tumblr.com/post/968243749

See larger version of this image.

STOCK UP & SAVE, PEOPLE!

As I mentioned earlier

The Wife called me from the scotch aisle at the liquor store to see what she should bring home. In case it wasn’t clear that I married well.

via wifeoftj

Only willful ignorance or intellectual dishonesty can account for the claim that the Bible is inerrant and infallible. No truth-loving, God-respecting, Christ-honoring believer should be guilty of such heresy. To invest the Bible with the qualities of inerrancy and infallibility is to idolatrize it, to transform it into a false God.

Source:

Robert Bratcher, 1981 (as quoted in the Aug 10 issue of Christian Century) (via undercovernun)

OHAI MY NEW FAVORITE TUMBLR, UNDER COVER NUN.

(Hat tip to Irreverend for bringing this one to my attention.)

~ Mosque-Erade ~

John Oliver says Muslims are allowed to put a mosque near Ground Zero, just like Catholics can build a church next to a playground.

“What Newt Gingrinch is trying to say is that Islam, like every religion, has to be responsible for its biggest assholes.”

~ Geeky Shit You Really Probably Don’t Care About ~

If you click the “Copy Embed Code” on Comedy Central, this is what you get

(click to embiggen):

The blueish highlighted portion? Yeah, that’s the actual embed code. The rest of it? Unnecessary.

2,239 characters given, 307 characters needed. If you use the highlighted portion, this is the video you get:

Sorry dashboard viewers, you’ll have to hit the top-right corner of this post to see the two embedded videos below.

If you use Comedy Central’s version, you get this:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Mosque-Erade
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

But there’s a bigger issue. Literally. If you view it on their website you get a much bigger version of the video than what they give you to share (640px vs 360px).

Then there are the ads.

The “Share This!” version starts with a 3 second “promo” for Comedy Central, and then there’s an extremely ugly scrawling text ad that goes across the top of Jon Stewart’s forehead. The original version does not.

Comedy Central wants you to share their stuff on your site, so they give you a much smaller and crappier version of the video, plus several text “ads” that tell you when The Daily Show is on, and several “related topic” links to their site.

Or you could do what I did, which was open up “View Source” on the page that has the video you want to share, and then locate the HTML code they use, and paste that into Tumblr instead.

(For those who don’t “read” HTML but want to trim down the excess: when you copy the code from a site, look for the <embed> and </embed> tags, or the <object> and </object> tags. That’s the part you actually want. Everything outside of them is probably unnecessary.)

Anyway, if you’re still interested, the video link at the very top of this post is Jon Stewart and John Oliver talking about the Mosque nonsense. It’s quite funny.

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