Good books?

luckyshirt:

I have some credits to burn through on Audible.

Any book suggestions for me?

I heard one or two of you read sometimes.

Just about anything by Christopher Moore (Fool, Lamb, Blood Sucking Fiends, a Dirty Job)

Assassination Vacation &/or The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell

Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris (or anything else)

Stiff Mary Roach (she has two other books, one on sex and the other on something else, I’ve heard those are good too)

On Writing by Stephen King

Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

I’d stand by any of those.

Just remember, if you buy an abridged book and I find out about it, you’re dead to me.

Dead.

Secret

The Boy whispered a secret in my ear.

“Don’t tell anyone,” he said.

“I won’t.”

“Not even mom.”

“Ok”

“You can tell the dogs, because they’re brainless.”

Checks and Balances

Me: My Drobo is acting up. I think one of the drives may be dead.

Erica: Why don’t you buy a bunch of 2TB drives?

Me: Because I want to stay married.

Words With Friends - Etiquette and Protocol Guide, Draft 1

janetisserlis asked:

do people get annoyed if you specifically invite them to play wwf if they don’t know you?

Do ANY people anywhere ever get annoyed about this? Probably.

Do I know of any? No.

Would I point at them with a thumb on one hand and make a jerking-off motion with the other if they ever expressed being upset about something like that? Yes.

IS there an etiquette guide to wwf?

No. So I’m writing one. Because as MLK Jr. said “If not us, who; if not now; when?” and I think it’s clear he was talking about socially acceptable practices for an iPhone game.

So here’s my guide:

Words With Friends - So You Want To Start a Game With Someone

1) If you want to start a game with someone but you don’t know their WWF name, ask them their WWF name.

At that point they will either:

a) Tell you their WWF name

b) Not tell you their WWF name

c) Confess that they have a Flip Phone or some other non-iPhone/iPod touch device and therefore can’t play WWF.

2) Once you know their WWF name, start a game with them.

At that point they will either

a) Play

b) Decline

c) Not reply at all

d) Remind you that they still don’t have an iPhone/iPod touch and ask you to stop sending them requests to play a game that they don’t have. At this point I suggest that you start taking digital pictures of your Words With Friends board and email the pictures to them and ask what they would play if they did have a grown-up phone.

Words With Friends - “Help! Someone I don’t know wants to play a game with me! What do I do?!?!?”

The important thing here is not to panic. They are not asking you for for buttesecks, it’s a game.

1) If you have a Flip Phone or other non-iPhone/iPod touch device: try to politely decline, preferably without tears at what a shambles your life has become.

2) If you have an iPhone or iPod touch device and want to play a game, accept it.

3) If you have an iPhone or iPod touch device and don’t want to play a game, don’t accept it.

“Holy crap, I started a game with X and s/he is totally kicking my ass! What do I do?”

DO: Keep playing. You never know when you might score 116 points on one play.

DON’T: Suddenly stop playing and ignore the game. Your opponent can only have 20 games going at once. If you decide to just ignore yours because you don’t feel like playing, they have to wait several weeks for the game to kick you out.

IF YOU MUST: you can always resign the game if it is your turn and you really don’t want to continue.

“I tried to start a game with someone and they declined. Why do they hate me?!”

First of all, they probably don’t hate you.

They might just need a break (I did this about a week ago when I realized WWF was taking up just a little too much time.)

They might have too many games going and can’t start any more.

They might have hit the wrong button (I’ve done that).

There are lots of other people around. Post your WWF name on Twitter or on your Tumblr post and invite others to start a game with you.

“Someone tried to start a game with me, and I don’t want to seem like a jerk by declining it, but I don’t want to accept it either. Should I just ignore it like those Facebook requests from my idiot classmates from high-school?

No. If someone has a “pending” game with you, that means they can’t play with someone else. You’re taking one of their spots, which is douchiér than declining.

Just decline it, and if you feel the need to provide some explanation why, send them an Instant Message through the (declined) game telling them that you are planning to sell your iPhone to buy cat food. Or just stop worrying so much that someone is going to get mad at you for something trivial and instead realize that if they do get upset over this, you probably weren’t destined to be lifelong friends anyway.

TIPS: What do the eyes mean? What do the little numbers mean?

When you are looking at a list of games and see a pair of eyes on a particular game, that means that your opponent also has that game open and is looking at the board.

(Update: some have suggested that they might be playing WWF but might not be looking at your particular game. Or they might just be waiting for you to get undressed. Waiting… and waiting… and waiting…)

If you see a little number in a circle next to their name, it may mean that they have sent you an Instant Message through the game. Tap on the game and then tap on “Chat” at the top right to view their message. Tap “Board” to return to the game.

Conclusion

Well, I hope that was helpful.

Comments? Questions? Suggestions?

Was it good for you?