Fun Size Bytes (from @Tj)Dear Son: I keep things from you because I need that money for alcohol, not child psychologists.
Me (entering the living room, where The Wife and The Boy are watching TV): “Oh crap! I went upstairs like an hour ago to get something to wipe that table down.”
Her: (just looking at me)
Me: “I went upstairs into the kitchen, and looked under the sink and —”
Her: (raising eyebrow)
Me: “Oh, right”
Her: (smirking)
The Boy: “What?”
Both: “Nothing”
The Boy: “WHAT?!”
Me: “Mommy surprised Daddy in the kitchen.”
The Boy: “Did she give you a present?”
Her: (unintentional Diet Coke spit-take)
Me: “Yes, yes she did.”
The Boy: “What was it?”
Me: “Nothing. Nevermind. I’ll be right back. I got distracted before. So what are we watching?”
