Fun Size Bytes (from @Tj)

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Sure, you’re just chatting with the secretary as you both enjoy the first minutes of silence in the day, and she’s just telling you some cute story about what her dog/kid/spouse did over the weekend…

…and sure she doesn’t seem to care that you’re scrolling through your Tumblr dashboard (after all this is just an impromptu break for you both anyway)…

…but really, just trust me on this: don’t

…because you never know when someone is going to reblog an x-ray of a girl deep-throating

…and there’s really no way for either of you to pretend you both didn’t see that, and the phone which has been ringing all morning never rings when it needs to.

Related:

I’m remembering a scene from Total Recall which they filmed in an x-ray both.

And thinking to myself: “Cinemax, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

(Which, of course, it is, because Cinemax is always thinking that.)

“Thermodynamic / X-Ray Porn.”

Then I realize that thermodynamic/x-ray porn is probably so old that some of you consider it passé even thought I’ve never seen it.

Sure enough:

In the search for ever-kinkier, extreme, in-your-face thrills, I propose x-ray depictions of people posed provocatively or engaged in sexual acts. Such depictions would provide extra stimulation for the jaded and weary pornography consumers who have seen it all before — snarfyguy, Sep 04 2001 source

So I’m mad at those of you who knew about it already for not telling me. I thought we were friends.

That’s why I haven’t returned your calls.

(The first one to say “You mean MRI not X-Ray” gets a punch in the junk, because we all know that X-Ray sounds cooler, so stop being a pedantic literalist asshole.)