Fun Size Bytes (from @Tj)Misreading Twitter Day
Did you know? The sound of shooting whipped cream into your mouth masks the sound of your wife coming downstairs.
Followed quickly by a clarification:
Ok, ok, “walking down the stairs,” people. Sickos! (I love you all.)
which was awesome because even my twisted mind hadn’t considered the ‘alternative’ meaning to his original post.
Then I wrote
The Wife: “Holy shit, you picked up the snake?”
Me: “Yeah…. with two ski poles. Who the fuck do you think you’re married to?”
which people seem to be reading as:
“Fuck yeah, woman, of course I picked up the snake. I’m T-motherfuckin-J”
whereas I meant it more as
“With my hands?! Are you batshit insane? There’s no way in hell the ‘bare handed’ option even entered my mind. I don’t care of it’s poisonous or not. Even so, I’m sure no one who saw me working at it would have been all that impressed. Mostly they would have pointed and laughed. Especially at the falling down in the mud part.”
But even Indiana Jones doesn’t like snakes, so I’m in good company.
