Things Parents Worry About

bliccy:

Hypothetical conversation:

Mom: So Cole, how was your week?

Me: Oh, this really funny guy from the internet who I think is a bird or something? But don’t worry, he’s married. He saw a picture of me sticking my really red tongue out and then he likened that to me giving the devil head and then the next day he posted a slideshow of my red tongue with a bottle of Devil’s Spit hot sauce which he was insinuating was a bottle of satan’s ejaculation! Which I had put in my mouth! IT WAS REALLY FUNNY!

Mom: Honey, I…what…Meth. It’s meth, isn’t it?

“I think he’s a bird but don’t worry, he’s married…”

“Oh, well as long as he’s married… wait, did you say he’s a bird?”