Fun Size Bytes (from @Tj)

If you don’t see a picture of me with Mary, Theresa, and Jayden within the next 20 minutes, call 911 and tell them to check RT 590N for a car accident resulting from the driver falling asleep at the wheel.

jaydensmommie:

(via steelopus)

WAH WAH WAH OH FEEL BAD FOR ME BECAUSE TWO BEAUTIFUL GIRLS AND AN ADORABLE CHILD ARE BEGGING ME TO HANG OUT WITH THEM, FML MY LIFE.

Mary is the little sister that Steve never wanted…

(“FML MY LIFE”, Mary? Really? How much of the cooking sherry did you drink?)

Please don’t misunderstand this as acting out because I’m at all jealous of you.

And by “you” I mean “Steve”.

And by “Steve” I mean “the guy who gets to hang out with these two girls whenever he wants.”

Well, maybe not whenever he wants, but you get the idea. The idea that I really ought to start drinking coffee and stop typing. And since I don’t drink coffee, that pretty much only leaves