Posted: Friday, September 18th, 2009 at 4:55 pm. Permalink
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suburbanreport-deactivated20091 I reblogged this post from
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  1. yayaa reblogged this from yowhatsthehaps and added:
    I want this on my Tumblr. I just sold two Andy Rooney books. I don’t remember how I got them but I read them and I was...

suburbanreport: DID YOU EVER NOTICE that people wait in lines for COFFEE now?  When I was a kid, coffee was for old people.  Now that I’m old, coffee is for kids.  I guess I was “born” at the “wrong time.”  And coffee used to be a quarter.  Have you seen what the charge for coffee?  $2.75 for something called a “double whip, no fat, triple soy mocha latte.”  How about just some coffee, in a regular cup?  I think if I ordered a black coffee at Starbucks, the cashier, I mean, sorry, “barista” would gasp in shock.  I like the coffee they have here in the office at 60 minutes.  It’s free, and, since it’s 8 days old, there’s NEVER a line for it.  And I never get tongue tied when I try to order it.  BACK TO YOU, MORELY SAFER. I don’t know why I just realized it but I’m afraid when I grow up I’m going to be be Andy Rooney reincarnated. You know, after he dies. And he soul comes to possess me. More than it already does.

suburbanreport:

DID YOU EVER NOTICE that people wait in lines for COFFEE now?  When I was a kid, coffee was for old people.  Now that I’m old, coffee is for kids.  I guess I was “born” at the “wrong time.”  And coffee used to be a quarter.  Have you seen what the charge for coffee?  $2.75 for something called a “double whip, no fat, triple soy mocha latte.”  How about just some coffee, in a regular cup?  I think if I ordered a black coffee at Starbucks, the cashier, I mean, sorry, “barista” would gasp in shock.  I like the coffee they have here in the office at 60 minutes.  It’s free, and, since it’s 8 days old, there’s NEVER a line for it.  And I never get tongue tied when I try to order it.  BACK TO YOU, MORELY SAFER.

I don’t know why I just realized it but I’m afraid when I grow up I’m going to be be Andy Rooney reincarnated.

You know, after he dies.

And he soul comes to possess me.

More than it already does.