Fun Size Bytes (from @Tj)

finding happiness in the bottom of a diaper

inthefade:

I wrote this for an article that never happened.  I actually had it open in Word today because I was going to take parts of it out for a different article. Then shoesonwrong posted about the pressure to have kids and cssboy responded about it being a personal decision and I figured, what the hell, I’ll just put it on tumblr.

Does having kids make you happy?

If you have children in the hopes that it will bring they key to eternal happiness, you are in for a big surprise. It will just take a while to realize it.

(snip because I presume you read Michele’s Tumblr. You should read this one even if you don’t.)

I forget exactly how he put it, but Daniel Gilbert in Stumbling on Happiness said that married people are generally less happy with children than without them, and that happiness increases once the children leave home, but doesn’t match the happiness that couples without children have.

(IIRC this is because parents spend a great deal of time worrying about providing for their kids, and worry about their happiness, etc. Couples without children have more money available for discretionary spending, more freedom to choose to change careers/move at will/etc.)

Does this make me regret having a kid? Does it mean you shouldn’t have kids? Does it mean that children don’t make parents happy? Do I need to punch you in the face to get the obviousness of these questions?

Being a parent means a tradeoff. A lot of tradeoffs. Thinking that kids = more happiness is a nice romantic idea not supported by actual research.