Experiment.
Following my dismal drop in popularity on Twitter, as evidenced by plummeting star counts and general unfollowing, I decided to conduct a little experiment.
Things I Tweet About That Get Stars:
my cat
whining about facebook
my boobs
my daughter throwing up
anything with an abnormal amount of exclamation points and capitalization
Things That Do Not Get Stars:
general declarations of happiness
sincerity
the weather
what I’m actually doing right now
political observations
Conclusion:
I just need to find a way to describe my daughter throwing up on my cat while I accidentally post a picture of my boobs on Facebook in 140 characters and I will win the entire internet.
I love science.
“I was stroking my PussY while it sat on my bOObs and thinking about what a giNORMous sh!thole Facebook has become when my daughter THREW UP!”
You’re welcome.
