Fun Size Bytes

Swine Flu Paranoia (via email…. from my mom)

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:42:21 -0500

Swine Flu Paranoia (via email…. from my mom)

Pigeon Snatch

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:16:50 -0500

Pigeon Snatch:

I double-dog dare you to click that link…

via GorillaSnatch…err… I mean “sushi”… whatever… like that isn’t a euphemism

I'd make a business card for myself…

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:44:21 -0500

but I have a question: Is Helvetica the only safe fontfacetype to use to avoid the scorn of you fontfacetypes?

He’s been sharpening this for awhile now.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:11:41 -0500

He’s been sharpening this for awhile now.

alinasmith: Office Depot has a deal on 4 packs of 250 Full-Color Raised Print business bards. To...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:35:00 -0500

alinasmith:

Office Depot has a deal on 4 packs of 250 Full-Color Raised Print business bards. To take advantage of the deal, apply this code: 71968582 then this code: 16400993. The whole thing should come out to $3, shipped.

I believe these codes are only good today, but I could be wrong.

If you make a thousand cards that just say “You’re awesome.” and randomly hand them all out to people on the street, I will send you a signed original polaroid.

Not kidding. You’ll need to figure out some sort of way of providing me with proof…but I’m totally serious.

Finally, someone has come up with a way to synergize Shakespeare and the business world…

~~UPDATE: I went through and it comes to ($29.99 - $10.00) - 15% = $16.99. Not a bad price, but not $3.~~

UPDATE 2: you have to order 4. Just like Alina said. My reading comprehension started drinking early this weekend.

Hey, Corporate America… when you’re using an...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:45:29 -0500

Hey, Corporate America… when you’re using an inappropriately informal idioms with your customers, try not to do three things wrong at once.

ALL CAPS
“head’s”? Really?
If I was going to use it, I’d use “heads-up” instead of “heads up”.

So if you ever thought about following Tumblr via RSS…

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:02:10 -0500

Every Tumblr has an RSS feed.

Just throw /rss at the end. For example: http://funsizebytes.com/ becomes http://funsizebytes.com/rss

You could then import them all into Google Reader.

Why?

Biggest Advantage IMO: You could read them oldest to newest rather than newest first.

Because then you could know how many posts you’d missed, you could sort them by person or by date.

You could do that.

But don’t.

Why?

Because Google reader and Tumblr don’t get along well, or didn’t for me… I ended up re-reading a bunch of the same posts (not reblogs) so it actually took longer to read, and was more frustrating (obviously hearts and reblogs were harder too).

FWIW.

Really? November is national diabetes month? November? As in...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:55:10 -0500

Really? November is national diabetes month? November? As in “the month that starts a day after Halloween”?

Seriously, never forget. Whoever did that to her should have...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:13:47 -0500

Seriously, never forget.

Whoever did that to her should have genitals burned off.

I highly recommend this Natalie Portman -bald Google Image Search as a chaser.

Sweet fancy Jesus, who sees this picture and says “ZOMG I...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:13:17 -0500

Sweet fancy Jesus, who sees this picture and says “ZOMG I MUST CLICK THIS AD, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRET!” as opposed to “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

What do these people do the other ±360 days a year when they aren’t at some “MUSKLES R WE” convention? Who would hire them? To do what? I doubt the guy can even tie his own shoes.

Never forget. Also: everyone not pictured above? You’re...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:34:24 -0500

Never forget.

Also: everyone not pictured above? You’re on notice.

"The Bridge" by Ed Friedman

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:02:15 -0500

"The Bridge" by Ed Friedman:

That link will take you to a three page PDF. Google will also render an HTML version if you’d prefer that.

I was going to post it here, but it would definitely fall into the TL;DR for most people. Plus, I think you’re going to want to read it more than once.

I don’t want to say too much about it, so I’ll just say this: the first time I heard it I thought it was stupid. Now I don’t. You might. But it’s a worthwhile and intriguing story at least to read, even if you don’t like what it says.

(Note: the email has been resent, correcting...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:01:31 -0500

(Note: the email has been resent, correcting “tomorrow” as “Thursday” not “Wednesday”. See also below.)

entropyas:

funsizebytes:

The aforementioned email

The Red Zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only.

There is no stopping in the white zone.

"Our founders did not intend to allow a majority to take basic rights from a minority."

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:36:54 -0500

“Our founders did not intend to allow a majority to take basic rights from a minority.”

- NYTimes, quoting Jennifer C. Pizer, marriage project director for Lambda Legal, an advocacy group based in Los Angeles.

Ok, now let me make is clear in case you haven’t been paying attention AT ALL to say that I’m fully in support of complete equal rights regardless of sexual orientation, and consider anything less than that to be a modern version of “separate but equal.”

Which brings me to my main point: the quote above is ridiculous to the point of stupidity. Our founders were a majority who took basic rights away from minorities. Such as freedom.

Oh sure, our founders talked a good game. They wrote “All men are created equal” but in practice it was “All white men who own property.” Property, such as slaves, which several of them “owned”.

Our founding fathers were brave and dedicated and fairly smart about a lot of things, but true equality was not one of them.

The aforementioned email

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:09:10 -0500

The aforementioned email

shoesonwrong: One of my favorite things EVER. More Christian...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:00:00 -0500

shoesonwrong:

One of my favorite things EVER.

More Christian comics from the seventies here.

I remember that time I sat around on Halloween waiting for The Great— wait, that was something else…

You need to watch the SEC

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:01:35 -0400

paulewogblog:

funsizebytes:

paulewogblog:

And that, sports fans, is why college football is, and shall always remain, a joke compared to MLB, NFL and NCAA Basketball.

The Ole Miss v. Auburn game today was epic, one of the best football games OF ALL TIME.

There are also some epically bad SEC games, but the BIG10 is just awful. And while I love the game atmosphere, the “playoff product” we are given is complete bullshit.

Also, I think it two weeks ago when the LSU vs. Georgia game was ruined by a couple of flag happy officials breaking out the no-fun-rule to piss on some 19-year-old kid’s day. And for what? Celebrating what should have been a game winning touchdown.

Most SEC vs SEC games are pretty good.

The “excessive celebration” rule should only be applied if someone beheads a member of the other team… otherwise, these are a bunch of kids playing a game, let them enjoy themselves…

You need to watch the SEC

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:21:30 -0400

paulewogblog:

And that, sports fans, is why college football is, and shall always remain, a joke compared to MLB, NFL and NCAA Basketball.

The Ole Miss v. Auburn game today was epic, one of the best football games OF ALL TIME.

An Actual Phone Conversation with an Actual Blockbuster Employee

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 14:57:13 -0400

Me: Do you have Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds?

Him: Would that be under The Birds?

Me: Um… yes, probably…

Him: (checking) Is it an older movie?

Me: (slams head into desk) Is Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds an older movie? Yes. Yes it is.

Him: Well we have one under drama, but it doesn’t say if it’s Alfred Hitchcock?

Me: Does it say if it’s in stock?

Him: Yes, it is…

Me: …

Him: …

Me: Could you maybe take a look at the box on the shelf? Maybe it would say Hitchcock on the box? If you have it, I’d like to rent it if you’ll hold it for me.

Him: Oh sure! (as if I had suggested a very creative solution to this quandary)

Me: Thanks… (waits)

Him: Yeah, we’ve got a copy of it. Alfred Hitchcock, is that the right one?

Me: Yes. That’s the Hitchcock.

theduty: pumpkin birthing. @wifeoTJ just died laughing at...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 13:16:04 -0400

theduty:

pumpkin birthing.

@wifeoTJ just died laughing at this.

I hope you’re happy.

Lindsay, looks like you’ve been promoted…