Fun Size Bytes

I’m a catch.

Wed, 16 May 2012 18:07:28 -0400

I’m a catch.

At the bank drive-through. They were trying to get a mortgage...

Wed, 16 May 2012 15:27:17 -0400

At the bank drive-through. They were trying to get a mortgage but all they had for collateral was some sort of dog biscuits

beefranck: ladypurl: Also known as “The...

Tue, 15 May 2012 17:25:08 -0400

beefranck:

ladypurl:

Also known as “The Bridget.”

Truth.

The Wife and The Boy will verify this happened during That Scene with Hulk and Loki

15 Ways To Stay Married For 15 Years

Tue, 15 May 2012 16:52:10 -0400

15 Ways To Stay Married For 15 Years:

accuratelyawesome:

sequinsandsideeye:

profashional:

I thought this was going to be one of those stupid women’s magazine-esque articles on “how to keep your man happy!!!!” but this was actually a really inspiring read with great advice for marrieds of all ages.

My favorite:

All the crap you read in magazines about honesty, sense of humor, communication, sensitivity, date nights, couples weekends, blah blah blah can be trumped by one word: loyalty. You and your spouse are a team of two. It is you against the world. No one else is allowed on the team, and no one else will ever understand the team’s rules. This is okay. The team is not adversarial, the team does not tear its members down, the team does not sabotage the team’s success. Teammates work constantly to help and better their teammates. Loyalty means you put the other person in your marriage first all the time, and you let them put you first. Loyalty means subverting your whims or desires of the moment to better meet your spouse’s whims or desires, with the full understanding and expectation that they will be doing the same. This is the heart of everything, and it is a tricky balance. Sometimes it sways one way and sometimes the other. Sometimes he gets to be crazy, sometimes it’s your turn. Sometimes she’s in the spotlight, sometimes you. Ups and downs ultimately don’t matter, because the team endures.

(via almosthalfway)

well said.

I love this more than I can even say.

Definitely not the usual Supermarket Checkout Line Magazine list.

Guys I think I found the perfect church! It has all of the...

Tue, 15 May 2012 15:09:11 -0400

Guys I think I found the perfect church!

It has all of the things that Jesus said are most important right there on the sign!

My two favorite Bible stories are the ones where Jesus condemns versions of the Bible other than the King James, and when He led that crowd into the temple & overturned the tables because He heard they had a praise band.

I’m really glad they came right out and said “Conservative” and “Fundamental” because otherwise I would have figured they were Liberal Universalists.

Update: I didn’t realize until after I posted it, but this is my 6660th post.

Yup. Apparently having my nose broken 20 years ago was worse...

Tue, 15 May 2012 12:50:51 -0400

Yup.

Apparently having my nose broken 20 years ago was worse than we thought.

They did a CT scan on my sinuses. My left one is almost completely blocked. My right one is starting to close up. The “line” of my nose looks more Harry Potter’s scar.

So he’s going to cut cartilage off my septum, lift off my nose, shave down the inflamed tissue in my sinuses, and then stick the cartilage from my nose into my sinuses to keep it from closing up again.

He asked me which was bothering me more: recurrent sinus infections or not being able to breathe through my nose.

I said, “Really? I’m supposed to pick one of those that’s not a problem?”

He said that they do different things to fix each problem. I said I’d like both of them fixed. He said it was too much to do in one procedure.

So we’re doing two.

The first may be in a few weeks, depending on insurance and his surgery schedule.

Close. Internet recovery. Aka “your hard drive is...

Tue, 15 May 2012 12:38:34 -0400

Close. Internet recovery. Aka “your hard drive is fubar’d and we may be able to fix it.”

I was trying to boot off the recovery partition but it went to this instead.

Well, I could also use FireWire Target Disk Mode!

Oh right.

Anyway, I had to leave it in this state while I went to my ENT appointment.

Those are the weirdest looking Fallopian tubes I’ve ever...

Tue, 15 May 2012 11:38:54 -0400

Those are the weirdest looking Fallopian tubes I’ve ever seen.

So this is how it’s gong to be, Tuesday? FYITE.

Tue, 15 May 2012 09:55:04 -0400

So this is how it’s gong to be, Tuesday?

FYITE.

This is her “you have to go to work but I...

Mon, 14 May 2012 09:00:05 -0400

This is her “you have to go to work but I don’t” face.

Contrary to myth, Christianity’s concept of marriage has...

Sun, 13 May 2012 11:09:42 -0400

Contrary to myth, Christianity’s concept of marriage has not been set in stone since the days of Christ, but has constantly evolved as a concept and ritual. Prof. John Boswell, the late Chairman of Yale University’s history department, discovered that in addition to heterosexual marriage ceremonies in ancient Christian church liturgical documents, there were also ceremonies called the “Office of Same-Sex Union” (10th and 11th century), and the “Order for Uniting Two Men” (11th and 12th century).

When Same-Sex Marriage Was a Christian Rite (via apoplecticskeptic)

This is news to me, although it was apparently a well-known book when it was published (1980).

Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century by John Boswell is available on Kindle.

Here’s an interesting thing I did know: Catholic priests were allowed to marry for the first 1,000 years after Jesus. It changed something around 1030 A.D. (note: I’m terrible with historical dates, so don’t quote me on that part) when a group of ultra-conservatives got into power in the church and claimed that the ascetic lifestyle was more “authentic” and forced a policy change.

Funny to think that something so “fundamental” to the [Catholic] Church was brought about by the political pressure of a bunch of ultra-conservatives, eh?

Speaking of Fundamentalism… Did you know that before the early 1900s, Christian Fundamentalism wasn’t even a “thing”? It’s a modern invention of the modern world masquerading as The Way It Has Always Been.

[Reblogged as an image to cite the book as the original source]

Mother's Day

Sun, 13 May 2012 10:26:00 -0400

Her: “You have a meeting after church tomorrow?”

Me: “We just have to approve a list of nominees, it will be a quick meeting, especially since it’s Mother’s Day…”

Her: “Oh, right… I want to go to the movies.”

Me: “For Mother’s Day?”

Her: “Yeah… to see The Avengers, naturally.”

Me: “I really need to find a way to send a message back to 13 year-old me and tell him about this.”

Her: “What?”

Me: “I said that sounds great.”

Inquiry

Fri, 11 May 2012 21:27:14 -0400

lindstifa:

milkglassmao:

Are there any good genealogy sites out there? Like, not research sites. Not archaic-looking tree-making networks that make them look like I made it in powerpoint (Geni is so ugly).

I’m looking for something modern, something well-designed—where you can make pretty sleek profiles for each entry and attach the documents that you’ve found (separately, even, since it wouldn’t be a research site).

I want something like this, because I don’t want a forum. I already do research on Ancestry. I just want a place to store this information that looks amazing.

I became obsessed with trying to find this due to a conversation I had with Lindsay earlier. Some of the stories associated with our family histories are awesome and worth telling, but in some sort of context.

If I had any technical or design ability at all, I would try to make this. Ah, well.

Is there a site or startup that I’m missing?

She’s being modest. What really happened is I gave her a nerd boner. WHO’S MODEST NOW?!

“Excuse me, could you repeat that? It sounded like you...

Fri, 11 May 2012 10:31:28 -0400

“Excuse me, could you repeat that? It sounded like you said the name of your company was Dong Soft! HAHAH—- Oh… it is… well… I’m sorry to hear that.”

monkeyfrog replied to your quote: Well, shuck my corn… Because you’re weird. You couldn’t pour...

Thu, 10 May 2012 18:01:36 -0400

monkeyfrog replied to your quote: Well, shuck my corn…

Because you’re weird. You couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Oh, I get it, you’re saying I can’t read, right? How dumb do you think I am? Well just hand over that boot. Come on, give it here!

The instructions are on the heel, eh? Ok, fine, I’ll just turn the boot ove—-VERY FUNNY CARY NOW I HAVE PISS ALL OVER MY FAVORITE JEANS.

I’M TELLING MOM.

"Well, shuck my corn…"

Thu, 10 May 2012 16:52:38 -0400

“Well, shuck my corn…”

- Me

I can’t even blame this one on moving to The Heartland… I’ve said this for as long as I can remember but I don’t know why…

At least I know this wasn’t any of you because she...

Thu, 10 May 2012 16:18:10 -0400

At least I know this wasn’t any of you because she doesn’t mention them flipping off the mirror.

Same thing I do every morning, Pinky: Wait for the drugs to kick in

Wed, 09 May 2012 15:42:58 -0400

~Depression, too, is a kind of fire - Taylor Mali~ kalamazu...

Wed, 09 May 2012 15:07:29 -0400

~Depression, too, is a kind of fire - Taylor Mali~

kalamazu replied to your quote: The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who…

There’s a Taylor Mali poem called “Depression, Too, Is a Kind of Fire.” Sounds a bit like this.

Wow, I hadn’t heard this before. The above embed is not a video, but audio of the author (I assume) reading this poem. (There’s an audiobook available.)

Thanks. Here’s the poem.

I’m an idiot because once
before we were married she asked me whether I knew
that we would not be having children
if we did get married, and I said yes.

And because she knew I was lying,
she asked if I was really okay with that.
And because I’m an idiot I said yes again.

And once during a fight, not married
more than two years, she said she felt like my first wife,
and I, like an idiot, assured her that she was.

She worked out at the gym five times a week
and smoked as many packs of ultra lights,
and I’m an idiot because when I asked her why,
She said, Because I hate myself and I want to die.
And I laughed and said something I don’t recall,
something completely and utterly insufficient.

From the roof of our apartment,
I saw 40 or 50 people jump from the towers
on a Tuesday morning—we used to be able to see them to the south,
just as, to the north, we can still see
(and by “we” I guess I mean now just me)
the Empire State Building,
which still steeps me in gratitude
because I’m an idiot—
out of the smoke with arms flailing.
And I swear I saw a perfect swan.

And I was going to write a poem
about how fire is the only thing
that can make a person jump out a window.

And maybe I’m an idiot for thinking I could have saved her—
call me her knight in shattered armor—
could have loved her more,
or told the truth about children.

But depression, too, is a kind of fire.
And I know nothing of either.

"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of..."

Wed, 09 May 2012 14:13:10 -0400

“

The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square.

And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing.

The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise.

Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows.

Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant.

The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors.

It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flame yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don‘t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump.

Not really.

You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.

”

- David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

(Seemed an appropriate reminder.)