Dammit I Love You Jerks Morrow
Her: “Would it be OK if my mom came for a visit?”
Me: “Of course. When?”
Her: “I’m going to look for flights now.”
Her: “I got her a flight for March 26th.”
Me: “Oh good, she’ll be here for Easter.”
Her: “Yeah, and The Boy’s spring break.”
Me: “How long is she staying?”
Her: “She said to just get her a one-way ticket…”
Me: “I’m gonna need a bigger bourbon.”
I can’t be Tumblr Pope, I have like 8 wives.
I will admit to being briefly excited about the prospect of getting to wear a big jaunty hat.
When cosmetic surgeon Allan Wu first heard the woman’s complaint, he wondered if she was imagining things or making it up.
A resident of Los Angeles in her late sixties, she explained that she could not open her right eye without considerable pain and that every time she forced it open, she heard a strange click—a sharp sound, like a tiny castanet snapping shut.
After examining her in person at The Morrow Institute in Rancho Mirage, Calif., Wu could see that something was wrong: Her eyelid drooped stubbornly, and the area around her eye was somewhat swollen.
Six and a half hours of surgery later, he and his colleagues had dug out small chunks of bone from the woman’s eyelid and tissue surrounding her eye, which was scratched but largely intact.
The clicks she heard were the bone fragments grinding against one another.
Executive Summary via @tomroyal on Twitter:
"Woman uses unapproved stem-cell based cosmetic treatment…
Grows extra bones.
In her eyelids.”
Sleep well, everyone!
read the whole story at scientificamerican.com
Also: “The Morrow Institute”? This takes Dammit Morrow to a whole new level.
SERIOUSLY MORROW I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE JUNK FOR EVER SUGGESTING THAT I EVER PLAY THIS STUPID GAME THAT I CAN’T STOP PLAYING I ALMOST BEAT THIS STUPID LEVEL EXCEPT THOSE STUPID FRICKIN HELIPADS OR WHATEVER THEY ARE THAT YOU JUST CANNOT KILL NO MATTER WHAT YOU THROW AT THEM THIS IS TOTAL BULL AND I COULD HAVE PROBABLY KILLED THAT STUPID SOLDIER IF I HAD PUT MY TESLA TOWER IN THAT SPOT MARKED WITH AN X BUT I DIDN’T REALIZE I HAD ENOUGH UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE AND AAARRGH THIS GAME IS SO FRICKIN FRUSTRATING OK I GUESS IT’S TIME TO TRY AGAIN BUT SERIOUSLY I HATE THIS STUPID THING GRRRR.
DAMMIT MORROW I CAN’T BEAT THIS LEVEL AND I HATE IT AND YOU AND WILL ONLY PLAY ONE MORE TIME NO REALLY I MEAN IT THIS IS THE LAST TIME I AM GOING TO TRY IT.
Step 1. Ask Twitter for iOS game recommendations
Step 2. Get one from Morrow
Step 3. Download Fieldrunners 2
Step 4. Play 483 games of Fieldrunners 2 in one day and yet fail to master it completely.
Step 5. DAMMIT MORROW!
Fine. Happy now?
Yeah, very “discreet” Fitbit. Nothing like a piece of plastic clipped to your chest to escape anyone noticing it.
And once again women have it so much better because they get to clip it to their bra, where no one can see it. Also, they get to have sexy boobs. And what do men get? Testicles. Yeah, that’s fair. Whatever.
Anyway, I blame you for this. Also, apparently, Whitaker.
And Morrow too, of course. HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID.
Anyway, if any of you jerks are on Fitbit, find me.
b. You have your wife in your address book by her name? How boring.
c. This is obviously Photoshopped because it shows you with 5 bars of AT&T 3G.