Here is what Bridget posted originally posted:
> I just cried while telling a coworker that I’m dropping Kiki off tomorrow to get spayed and declawed.
> Pantywaist: The Bridget Franckowiak story. One woman’s struggle with being a huge whiny baby.
The cat groomer (and a few others) then came out swinging at Bridget and told her she was a terrible person and shouldn’t do this.
Then the cat groomer lady came back and further insulted Bridget, and told her that her cat deserved better.
If The Patron Saint of Cat Claws wants to post on her Tumblr that she thinks declawing is the moral equivalent of giving Satan a handjob, I will absolutely leave her alone to post whatever she wants to in her own space.
Going out of your way to be an asshole is not the same thing as posting to your own website about your own feelings and emotions.
Sure, Bridget could just ignore it. By “ignore it” I suppose you mean “don’t tell anyone about it or draw any attention to it” which means that the bully wins. The bully gets the last word, she gets to throw stones, she gets to keep being an asshole.
Fuck that. How about this: Stop being a bullying asshole.
And if your ‘pretty ironic reason’ means that you think I’m being a judgmental asshole to someone who I see was being a judgmental asshole, well, hey, guilty as charged.
FWIW I don’t think it’s ‘ironic’ at all, in fact I’m going to use the word ‘hypocritical’ which I think might be more of what you’re getting at. Being hypocritical would be going to The Patron Saint of Cat Claws’ Tumblr and start harassing her about decisions that she’s made, sending her Replies or Ask Box messages telling her that I disagree with her, or whatever.
But if you want to think I’m hypocritical, that’s OK with me. All I’ll say is that I’ve lived with bullies my whole life — and let’s be clear, hellopoodle is absolutely being a bully here — and I’ve tried the ‘try to make them happy by changing yourself’ method and I’ve tried the ‘just let them attack you and maybe they’ll get bored/tired’ method. Neither of them helped.
Calling an asshole an asshole, though… that helps. Not because it will change the bully (because you won’t), but because it lets others know that you are under attack.
Just shutting up and suffering in silence about it means that you don’t get to call attention to their abuse, which means that you don’t get the support of other people who would speak against the bullies.
Yeah, I know, everyone is probably tired of hearing about this by now. My guess is that you’ll have forgotten about it a day after it falls off Tumblr. But Bridget won’t. It will take her much longer to recover from this, because she was already struggling with a difficult decision, and then people — some complete strangers, some not — decided to shit all over her for it.
Maybe, hopefully, the end result of this “conversation” is that someone who is more open to taking other people’s feelings into consideration might take a few extra seconds before they inject some judgmental assholeism into someone else’s day.
You’re entitled to believe what you want to believe and think what you want to think and say what you want to say. But when those beliefs, thoughts, or words start being stuffed into someone else’s face, then you’d better expect some pushback.
That being said, I hope that hellopoodle will either STFU now or, preferably, apologize for being an asshole. I expect the former. I doubt the latter. Either way I hope Bridget has heard the last from her. As I said to her earlier, she’s being far nicer than I would have been, I would have blocked hellopoodle after the first message. But that’s what I would have done, it doesn’t have to be what she does.
TL;DR - No, it’s not the same thing at all, and telling someone who is being harassed/bullied to “just ignore it” isn’t a good solution, for a lot of reasons.