Fun Size Bytes

wifeoftj:

I really wish I could teleport y’all to our church on Sunday mornings so that you could hear Tj preach. This morning’s sermon was amazing, like woah! I got chills. It went from funny (relating Mary’s pregnancy with Jesus to mine with Ethan, thus causing The Boy to blush) to informative (the Magnificat may have actually been said by Elizabeth, not Mary) to “holy smokes he’s on fire with righteous anger” when he talked about how some so called “Christians” were responding to the Newtown tragedy. What I’ll take away from it most is this: ” instead of trying to place blame and pointing fingers, pray for those in pain and embrace with love.” Amen

First off: Gross. No one came here to listen to you talk about your feelings.

Secondly: I’m going to talk about mine now too. Feel free to ‘next’…

It occurred to me this week that the reading was about Mary (mother of Jesus) and Elizabeth (mother of John the Baptizer), two women who were not supposed to be pregnant (Mary, because she was young and unmarried, and Elizabeth because she was ‘old’).

Then it occurred to me that both of these mothers outlived these sons.

(John was beheaded after a king basically got turned on by a girl who danced in front of him, and offered her ‘anything, up to half of my kingdom’… the girl went to her mother, who told her to ask for John’s head on a platter.)

(Yes, Christians believe that Mary’s son was only dead for 3 days, but she was there, standing by the cross when he died.)

Barely a week after Newtown, it’s hard not to think about those parents who outlived their children.

Anyway, I ended up yelling a little bit about so-called Christians who would tell parents of dead children that it was their fault their children were dead because we don’t allow prayer in school. But it really was a sermon of mixed emotions, as I think is fitting for the day.

No manuscript today, so I can’t post the text, but we do record the service for the radio. If you wanted to listen to it you could download the mp3 here. I take great comfort in knowing that you probably won’t.

I also posted the audio of last week’s “On Newtown” in case you were feeling pretty good about the day and wanted to feel worse, I guess.

First she was all:

BOOM! 156 points for BORZOIS, triple letter Z plus triple word score!

but then I was all

It ain’t over til the fat man is snoring!

Or something like that.

Scene: watching Betty and a bunch of the wives talking/gossiping together.

The Wife: EYEROLL “I was sooooooo born at the right time… I seriously would have just killed myself.”

Betty Draper, to Don: “Whatever you think is best.”

The Wife: “PFFFFFT! … Oh, sorry, did I say that out loud?”

Scene: Don visits Midge at her apartment.

Her: “Is this a cheating bastards show?”

Me: “It’s complicated.”

(they showed his ring finger)

Her: “Oh, he’s not married”

Me: …

Scene: Peggy gets into the elevator with several of the boys from Sterling Cooper, who proceed to make Peggy uncomfortable with their comments.

Her: “I don’t like any of these people.”

Scene: 0.2 seconds after we meet Salvatore Romano for the first time

Her: “He’s gay, right?”

Scene: on John Slattery as “Roger Sterling”

Her: “He was born for this role…”

Scene: Campbell shows up at Peggy’s

Her: “Oh Peggy…”

beefranck:

TJ’S WIFE JUST KISSED ME.

THAT IS ALL.

Really? That’s strange, because she’s usually so reserved…

…GirlfriendOfTJ became WifeOfTJ.

To say that it’s been a long, strange trip would be an understatement.

But I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Happy anniversary babe. Thanks for making life worth living.

The Wife: Rachel wants to know if she can use our other bed in Boston. Did you tell people about that?

Me: Um… no, but you did months ago… ¹

The Wife: I did?

Me: Yes… You don’t remember doing that?

The Wife: Yep. I think learning about how a dog’s penis bends 90 degrees ate that information out of my brain. I just wanted to make sure it was OK with you if she did.

Me: Why wouldn’t it be?

The Wife: Because you would be the guy in a hotel room with two girls…

Me: …

The Wife: Wait, that didn’t sound—

Me: For the record, that’s not something I would ever be against…